SrI: SrImathE SatakOpAya nama: SrImathE rAmAnujAya nama: SrImath varavaramunayE nama:
Q and A Video responses
Q. We try to be judgemental towards bhAgavathas. How to overcome that?
Gist of the response given in the video
pUrvAchAryas have shown in their granthams like vArthAmAlai and other granthams that we have to treat a bhAgavatha based on whether they are sathkAra yOgya, sahavAsa yOgya or sadhAnubhava yOgya. Anyone who demonstrates the physical appearances of SrIvaishNava, they are to be treated as sathkAra yOgya. Those who, in addition to having the physical appearance of a SrIvaishNava, show eagerness to learn the sampradhAyam and provide some kainkaryam, must be treated as sahavAsa yOgya. Those who are constantly engaged in uplifting the sampradhAyam, enjoying bhagavAn and have gratitude towards bhagavAn and bhAgavathas, are very inspiring for others. Such bhAgavathas (like AzhwArs and AchAryas) are sadhAnubhava yOgya.
- It is true that we tend to become a little judgemental when we analyse bhAgavathas, and, if we are not cautious, we may end up committing apachAram and it may be detrimental for us.
- pUrvAchAryas have shown us some clear guidelines on this subject. We have to try our best to understand the nature of a particular bhAgavatha when we have interactions with them.
- There are different levels of bhAgavathas. It is explained in vArthAmAlai, and in few other granthams that there are sathkAra yOgya, sahavAsa yOgya and sadhAnubhava yOgya.
- Since we don’t become very close and comfortable with everyone immediately, initially we have to treat everyone as sathkAra yOgya.
- sathkAra yOgya—yOgya means one who qualifies. sathkAra means one should be treated in a respectable manner. With such persons we can speak, interact and share about bhagavAn, AzhwArs and AchAryas, and about SrIvaishNava principles. We can discuss, learn and share with them whatever we want. Who are sathkAra yOgya?
- bhAgavathas who have the physical appearances of SrIvaishNava.
- bhAgavathas who had pancha samskAram.
- bhAgavathas wearing Urdhva puNdram and having perumAL, AchArya or AzhwAr’s name.
- bhAgavathas who have an AchArya sambandham, and shows inclination towards bhagavAn.
- sahavAsa yOgya– ‘saha’ means to be together. ‘vAsa’ means to remain somewhere. ‘sahavAsa’ means those with whom we can stay together. We can interact closely and visit each other’s homes, spend long hours and discuss about sampradhAya subjects. Who are sahavAsa yOgya?
- Having physical appearances of SrIvaishNava as mentioned under sathkAra yOgya,
- Having good intentions, eagerness to learn about sampradhAyam and helping SrIvaishNavas.
- Those willing to provide whatever services (kainkaryam) that is possible.
- sadhAnubhava yOgya– sadhAnubhava means those who can be continuously observed and enjoyed. We can listen to their words and activities continuously. Such a person should be treated in a highly respectable and honourable way. Who are sadhAnubhava yOgya?
- AzhwArs and AchAryas are this category of bhAgavathas.
- sadhAnubhava yOgyas are very noble vaishNavas who are very dedicated in the upliftment of the whole sampradhAyam and they are working on helping others.
- They are engaged in enjoying bhagavAn and they have gratitude towards bhagavAn and bhAgavathas.
- When we see such persons, and get inspired and desire to stay with them and learn and constantly serve them. This particular stage is called as sadhAnubhava yOgya.
Therefore, we have to find out about each vaishNava whom we are engaging with and at what level we have to interact with them. We cannot treat a sathkAra yOgya as sadhAnubhava yOgya. We have to know where to stop interacting with a particular vaishNava and how to limit our interactions. Thus, it is a judgemental attitude, but reasons for analysing are:
- With good intentions,
- For our wellbeing, so that we treat each vaishNava in an appropriate manner,
- With the intention to respect them appropriately and not to put down that person.
- To know who is sadhAnubhava yOgya bhAgavatha, as they cannot be treated as a sathkAra yOgya.
This is not something that we can find out in one day, but only over a period of time. Until we clearly know, we have to be cautious and observe the nature of the bhAgavatha and then interact with them accordingly.
Q. What is the prAyaSchiththam (atonement) for bhAgavatha apachAram?
Gist of the response given in the video
It is seen in guru paramparA itself the manner in which our purvAchAryas repented for and atoned for the bhAgavatha apachAram.
- First and best option is to find out the bhAgavatha we have committed apachAram towards and beg for forgiveness from them. Sometimes they may accept and some times they may have grudge. But still, we have to do our part and be honest about it.
- If we are not in touch with the bhAgavatha, then we can pray to perumAL and emperumAnAr about all the apachArams we have committee so far. For ex: we have SlOkams in our nithyAnusandhAnam “aparAdhasahasrabhAjanam pathitham bhImabhavArNavOdharE” and is chUrnai “manO vAk kAyee anAdhi kalam” from SaraNAgathi gadhyam, where we announce to bhagavAn that we have committed so many mistakes and it’s something which bhagavAn has to forgive and he should not have anything against us for having committed the apachAram. He will probably heal in the hearts of those bhAgavathas too based on our prayer.
- Finally, we can see the guru paramparA prabhAvam and other granthams that when someone is going to ascend to paramapadham, when they know, they will invite all the bhAgavathas in the circle and connection and they do thadhIyArAdhanam and beg for forgiveness by offering pramAnams to them and say that they may have committed offences to them and seek forgiveness. This is something we observe in guru paramparA charithrams. So, it is a way to atone for our apachArams committed towards bhAgavathas by inviting them to home and asking for forgiveness from them. This is for knowingly done apachArams and unintentional apachArams.
- The main thing is, if we atone and if we feel bad for it and if we beg for forgiveness to perumAL that itself will be good step forward because perumAL will make others too realise about it. For ex: if we committed offence to another bhAgavatha, perumAL will convey to him and even if that bhAgavatha has some anger towards us, perumAL will make it go away somehow, if we are sincere and pray for that forgiveness.
Thus, these are some of the ideas we can see from our pUrvAchAryas lives. The main thing is, we must not repeat the apachAram whether bhagavadh, bhAgavatha or asahya apachAram. Whatever atone we do, whether it is for apachAram or anything else, once we atone, we must not repeat same mistake.
Q. If any SrIvaishNava does any mistake, can we correct them?
https://youtu.be/2SebZ3qg7JE?feature=shared
Gist of the response given in the video
If we observe a SrIvaishNava making mistakes including dhEvathAnthara bhajanam, then we can suggest to them in a humble manner to correct themselves.
- If the person will listen to us and if we have a cordial relationship and if they accept our suggestion then we must suggest them that their actions are wrong and it is not ideal for a SrIvaishNava to commit such mistakes.
- Suggestions have to be in a humble manner and not be in a dominating manner.
- If there are people who don’t listen to our suggestions then there is no point of approaching them and suggesting to them.
- Having a good sathsangam and having a gOshti is helpful in these situations.
- If we have a good gOshti then if one person comes with a mistake then other person can help and try to eliminate that problem.
- Whenever we are in a gOshti each one has to look after other and try to help others make progress and also ensure one makes progress for themselves as well.
- dhEvathAnthara bhajanam is beyond regular mistake because these are very fundamental. If someone is worshiping other dhEvathas then they cannot be called as a SrIvaishNava. By definition SrIvaishNava means he will not worship other dhEvathAs.
Thus, there are aspects where a person may not be even following some fundamental aspects of SrIvaishNavam. We should humbly suggest to such person that there are granthams, books in which there are teachings where we can understand these and try to implement them. We can try to guide people who will listen to us.
Q. How to avoid apachArams while taking thIrtham, prasAdham and SrI SatAri?
https://youtu.be/mp0ABH0kvuc?si=E6Im4lS7JenqPeEa
Gist of the response given in the video
One has to be very careful when one is performing kainkaryam especially direct kainkaryams in temples or mutts or thirumALigai, for bhagavAn and one has to be very careful not to touch anyone else and avoid unnecessary physical contacts.
- Usually for very small kids these apachArams don’t apply.
- The past generation, the father who is usually the head of the family who does thiruvArAdhanam will not come in contact with anyone in the family until the thiruvArAdhanam is completed. Only after all the sannidhi cleaning and all thiruvArAdhanam related work so completed, that person will touch others and even that only if it is necessary.
- Others in the family, example wife or mother or grandfather or grandmother or someone else will take care of the children so that at least the person who is doing the thiruvArAdhanam person or who is going to temple for kainkaryam doesn’t come in contact with anyone.
- Nowadays many are not bothered about these things and they are freely touching everyone else whether it is at home or outside.
- Even in temple we see that even those people who are in kainkaryam sometimes shake hands or touch others. This practice is not correct.
- We have to discuss within our family and start practicing this AchAram, anushtAnam.
- In the past there would be elders who would guide others in these matters but nowadays many families are reduced to just husband, wife and one or two children. So, for them many of these principles are completely alien and they are not known.
Thus, following these may be Initially difficult but over time we will get used to it. For example not touching anyone or each time we go to the kitchen we have to wash hands before taking something. Washing hands before touching the vessels or prasadam is important. One should try to observe from elders and learn from that and adapt our lifestyle accordingly.
Q. How to avoid mAnasika apachArams towards a bhAgavatha? What prAyaschiththam should we do?
https://youtu.be/TylGaZn1pEc?feature=shared
Gist of the response given in the video
kAyika (physical) apachAram and vAchika (by speech) apachAram are very obvious. If we beat or scold someone, we have to immediately seek forgiveness from that person and try not to repeat the same mistake. mAnasIka apachAram may happen continuously without even the person realising sometimes. But for that also prAyaSchiththam is seeking forgiveness from the person towards whom we committed the apachAram (offence).
- For any apachAram, whether kAyika, mAnasika or vAchika, if we think about the repercussions whether it is in this life or in the next life and if we thinks about the sufferings we have to go through for committing apachArams and if e understands that clearly then we will not do any of the apachArams. Especially we will not commit bhAgavatha apachAram.
- If one is committing apachAram due to prakruthi sambandham (being in this material world) or due to being influenced by their guNams, or the situation then one has to seek forgiveness from the person towards whom the offense was committed.
Thus, if it is bhagavath apachAram, we seek forgiveness from bhagavAn, if it is bhAgavatha apachAram, we seek forgiveness from that bhAgavatha. This is applicable to mAnasIka apachAram too.
Q and A Text responses
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Q. In thirumalA if we get a sEvA of making devotees move quickly from the queue line, while doing seva if we push devotees, will this be bhAgavatha apachAram?
We should be considerate at the same time we have to fulfil our duty also.
Q. Is it an apachAram to offer sambhAvanai (cash) to an upanyAsakar or AchAryan if we happen to meet him at a public place without prior notice?
No offense. It is good to support vaidhikas in any form, at any time. But if come to know that they are uncomfortable accepting support in public, then we can do it in private.
Q. How to seek forgiveness from perumAL?
In SaraNAgathi gadhyam, bhagavath rAmAnuja has shown us how to seek forgiveness from emperumAn. Please see chUrNikais 10 to 12. Meanings can be seen from https://divyaprabandham.koyil.org/index.php/2015/11/saranagathi-gadhyam/
Q. What are the prAyaSchiththams that can be done by a woman, in 60s, when man of the house cannot do the nithyAnushtAna karma at home?
prAyaSchiththa has to be done by the individual who committed the mistake (with or without intent). Others cannot do prAyaSchiththam. The woman at home can take care of the gruha perumAL by lighting lamp, offering bhOgam and reciting pAsurams, on a daily basis.
Q. As per the list of bhagavadh apachAram enlisted in SrIvachana bhUshaNam, does the following incident amount to bhagavadh apachAram? If yes, what is the prAyaSchiththam? Buying perumAL prasAdham from someone who says he has access to the prasAdham which is otherwise is not distributed to general people, and gave us but we have to give money. Would acquiring prasAdham in this manner amount to apachAram?
Technically yes – many of our acts are apachArams only. But we have to pray to bhagavAn for forgiveness and watch every one of our acts and see how we can make sure that we remain as honest as possible.
Q. What is the prAyaschchitham if we ate a prohibited food item?
Usually, if we eat forbidden items, we can do upavAsam for one day and take SrIpAdha thIrtham from AchArya or bhAgavathas on the next day. If there is no AchArya or bhAgavatha nearby, we can accept perumAL thIrtham, from a nearby temple. Even if that is not available, we can take thIrtham from our home perumAL.
Q. If one has made a mistake that’s having a bad consequence and they have realised it, what is the way out of feeling guilty?
Guilt is good – because, by feeling guilty we will not repeat the same mistake. But beyond that, we need to seek forgiveness from bhagavAn or bhAgavathas, depending upon whom we did the mistake. We should also ensure that we don’t repeat that same mistake again.
Q. If our parents won’t allow us to fast for a whole day as a prAyaSchiththam for violating Ahara niyamam then what can we do?
We just need to seek forgiveness from bhagavAn and face the consequences of that mistake.
Q. Is there any SlOkam or pAsurams we can recite to seek forgiveness for violation of Ahara niyamam?
We can just ask for forgiveness in your own language.
Q. What prAyaSchchitham to perform if husband touches his wife with menstrual cycle?
He can accept SrIpAdha thIrtham of AchArya or some good SrIvaishNava with gyAnam/anushtAnam. Also, purify all the items and places which came in contact with him, at his home after the incident, by doing puNyAhavachanam.
Q. What should we do if due to philosophical difference of opinion a bhAgavatha gets upset with us and goes “no contact”. Is it considered as bhAgavatha apachAram? If it is, then what should be done incase we don’t have access to that bhAgavatha and that bhAgavatha blocks us and we are unable to contact that bhAgavatha?
As long as arguments are only based on philosophy instead of personal attacks, that is fine. If the other person takes offense and completely blocks us, we cannot do much about it. Time is the best healer – if the person realises, he/she will contact us. We just need to be patient.
Q. How does one do prAyaSchiththa prapatti, by self or through an AchAryan?
prAyaSchiththa prapaththi is simply reminding ourselves about the oringal SaraNAgathi. It is not a separate action.